Mutual Weirdness
by ninjacatchester
Summary: We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. -Dr.Suess **oneshot, Scorpius/Rose


**AN: Godric, I'm not exactly sure how this came to be, especially as it started out very differently… It involved Ron stalking Rosie and Scorpius on their first date… But it didn't work for me, so instead we get a bizarre little story by the name of Mutual Weirdness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the awesome Dr. Seuss quote you'll find in her. **

**Mutual Weirdness**

The Hogsmeade Gargoyle, who guarded the Hogsmeade Gate, had seen a lot of things. He'd seen a lot of people in his time guarding the gate, ever since the Second Wizarding War when he'd been put there as guardian against dark magic.

But despite seeing so many people, he had not met many people. In his entire 25 years, only one thoughtful thirteen year old boy had ever stopped to speak with him. Only Albus Potter had taken the time out of his first Hogsmeade trip to say hello, and so only Albus Potter had ever gotten a hello back.

And ever since that day, Albus had always stopped to talk to the Gargoyle. Albus kept the Gargoyle updated on gossip, who the new couples to look out for would be, what the ministry was doing, and other such news. In return, the Gargoyle would tell Albus about interesting conversations he'd heard, odd things he'd seen, and of things that happen with people don't realize they're being watched by a stone gargoyle. In this way, the Gargoyle got to feel some real connection to the world beyond the gate, and Albus always knew things first.

On the blustery day in April that our story starts, Albus had hurried down to Hogsmeade with some very interesting news for the Gargoyle. Rumour had it that Rose Weasley, Golden Girl of Gryffindor and Scorpius Malfoy, Womanizer Extraordinaire of Slytherin were going to Hogsmeade together.

Sure enough, the feisty red head and regal yet goofy blonde appeared, hand in hand.

"Really Scorp, Madam Pudifoots?" she was saying, "Well, if I break some of her good china, on your head be it!"

"You dork!" Scorpius said playfully, nudging her softly. "Only you would speak like that."

"Blame it on my mother." said Rosie, rolling her eyes, "Besides, at least I'm not a Malfoy!"

"Aw Rosie, you know you love me!" declared Scorpius, bumping her with his elbow.

"Just like I love Pygmy Puffs." replied Rosie.

"I think you love me more than you love Pygmy Puffs." Said Scorpius quite confidently, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Arrogant much?"

"Liar much?"

"Ferret."

"Dork."

"Snob."

"Nerd."

"Doofus."

"Geek."

"Malfoy."

"Weasley."

"Constellation."

"Creative, Flower Power Girl."

"Hippy."

"Thorny."

"Thorny?"

"Roses are thorny, Ginger."

"I got that, Blondie."

The young continued their playful banter all the way to Madam Pudifoots.

Within minutes, they were seated with a pot of tea, like most couples. However, unlike most couples, they weren't snogging. They were just chatting amiably, laughing some.

Then, with one sweep of her hand, Rosie knocked the teapot to the floor with a crash. While some might assume that this would turn the young Malfoy off, they would be quite wrong. Instead of being frustrated, Scorpius just laughed lightly, repaired it with a swish of his wand, and smiled at her, like clumsiness was the most endearing trait in the world.

"Are we completely crazy to be here?" she asked him.

"How do you mean?" Scorpius asked, concerned.

"Well, we both know of my certain… aversion to fine china." Rosie said, "Maybe we're just tempting fate."

"Well," he said, grinning again, "If this is your way of trying to turn me off, it's not working."

Rosie rolled her eyes. "Then let it be known that I tried." She said sarcastically, before resuming seriousness. "No, what I meant was I'm really not a Madam Pudifoots sort of girl."

"I know," said Scorpius, "But I was worried it would look like I wasn't trying if I just took you to the Three Broomsticks."

"Well, I'll give you points for romance, then." said Rosie.

"Would you rather go to the Three Broomsticks?" asked Scorpius worriedly.

"No, this is nice." Said Rosie, "But if I smash any more crockery, I give you my permission to stun me and drag me out the door."

"And can I snog you up against a wall in an alleyway because you're just so darn adorable?" he asked cheekily.

"Oh, I was planning on letting you do that anyways," said Rosie, "You don't need to stun me. In fact, I think we'd both enjoy it more if you didn't."

"I'll keep that in mind." said Scorpius smiling, and taking a sip of tea.

"You know, when Dad finds out about this, he won't be very happy." remarked Rosie.

"What about your mother?" asked Scorpius unconcernedly.

"Oh, she already knows." said Rosie cheerfully, "I told her in my most recent letter that you were taking me out."

"And how does she feel about it?" he asked curiously.

"She's happy that I'm not letting my father's prejudices against your father get in the way of my judgement." said Rosie, "And told me about several helpful hexes just in case."

"Of what sort?" Scorpius questioned.

"If I recall correctly," said Rosie thoughtfully, "there was one that would turn your hair to snakes, one that would replace your nose with a balloon and one that would turn your clothes to cheese."

"Weird hexes." Scorpius remarked.

"Weird, but bloody useful for fending off weirdos." Rosie replied.

"You've used them?" Scorpius asked, surprised.

Rosie shivered. "Alden Nott, yesterday, don't want to talk about it."

"Which one did you use?"

"All three." Rosie replied proudly, "He was being bloody annoying."

"How so?"

"Before or after he asked me if freckles were just a muggle disease?" asked Rosie, smiling.

"Let's go with after." Said Scorpius warily.

"He asked me if being a know-it-all was contagious."

Scorpius glowered. "Can I hex him?" he asked, "You know, being your boyfriend and all?"

Rosie raised her eyebrow. "Boyfriend?"

"Well, yeah." said Scorpius, "I've taken you out on a date and I have permission to snog you after. I think that counts, don't you?"

Rosie thought about this for a moment. "Yes, I suppose it does." She said smiling, "And no, you can't hex him. I already did. Thrice."

"Aw, I even had a new curse I wanted to try out!" whined Scorpius.

"What kind of curse?" asked Rosie interestedly.

"One that makes you see everyone as a hippogriff." declared Scorpius proudly.

"So you'd spend the whole day bowing to people, and when they didn't bow back, you'd have to run, right?" Rosie asked, figuring it out. "That's a good curse."

"So can I use it?" asked Scorpius hopefully.

Rosie rolled her eyes. "No."

"Rose?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I should have asked your dad permission to ask you out?"

"Hell no. He'd have said no and then I couldn't even emotionally blackmail him like I plan on doing."

"But my dad said you should always ask a girl's dad permission to date her."

"Your dad is old fashioned." said Rosie rolling her eyes. "The only thing you'd need to ask my dad is for permission to marry me."

"Now that's a thought."

"He'd probably hex you."

"I'd better brush up on my shield charm just in case."

"Is it weird to be talking about this on the first date?"

"Probably."

"Does it seem weird to you?"

"Not really. You?"

"Not particularly. Does that make us weird?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I read a muggle quote once," he said, "by some guy named Dr. Suess, and he said 'We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.' Do you think he's right?"

"Probably." Said Rosie thoughtfully, "Mutual weirdness… what an interesting way of putting it."

"Rosie, would you completely freak if I said I loved you?"

Rosie thought about this for a moment. "Probably not." She said at last.

"Oh?" asked Scorpius, surprised.

"Well, at the moment, I find our weirdness very compatible." said Rosie.

"Good," he replied, "Because I do to."

"So do you love me?"

"Not sure yet. I just know our weirdness is currently compatible. And that I do like you a lot."

"I'd be a little disappointed if we weren't in sixth year and only on our first date."

"Do you love me?"

"I find our weirdness compatible."

"And you like me?"

"Certainly enough to go on a date with you and then give you permission to snog me after."

"So a substantial amount?"

"I'd say so."

"Good."

**XxXxXx Five years later XxXxXx**

"Hey Rosie,"

"Yes Scorp?"

"You remember what I said on our first date, about the mutual weirdness thing?"

"It was rather hard to forget."

"Well, I still think our weirdness is compatible,"

"You better."

"And, well, this mutual weirdness we have is definitely what I'd call love,"

"I know all this, Scorp. What are you getting at?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to make our mutual weirdness official."

"How so?"

"Will you marry me Rosie?"

"That was a weird proposal, you know that?"

"I'm aware."

"It sort of suits us, I suppose."

"Oh?"

"Well yeah. How many couples do you know that call love 'mutual weirdness'?"

"Erm.. none?"

"Exactly. We're a weird couple."

"And our weirdness is compatible."

"So we're in mutual weirdness."

"Um, Rosie?"

"What Scorp?"

"So will you marry me?"

"I haven't answered yet?"

"Erm, no."

"Oh. Well, of course I'll marry you, Scorp!"

"I love you Rosie."

"I love you too, Scorp."

"I like being in mutual weirdness with you."

"I like being in mutual weirdness with you too."

"…We're rather weird, aren't we?"

"Mutually weird."


End file.
